Epic Fallout 3 thread is Epic

What is the most messed up thing you have done in Fallout 3?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.76137

Fable 2 opening thoughts

So I was faced with the decision this week of eating for the next two weeks or finally fucking buying a TV and an X-box.

The fact that I am posting here should tell you where that decision went. So anyway, I went to the local Game Stop and said "gimmie gimmie omfg gimmie". Fallout 3 was sold out. After flipping out and killing everyone in the store other then the employees, I was calmed slightly as the scared huddle of employees flung a copy of Fable 2 at me.

So I bought the X-box which also came with Legos Indiana Jones and Kung Fu Panda "oh goodie". I had those ranked #3 on my list. Not the list of games I wanted, but rather the list of stuff I would use as an unpleasant substitute to toilet paper in a pinch. The #1 and #2 spots being termite infested tree bark and a macaroni picture of Dr. Phil respectively.

So I have been playing Fable 2 a little bit. I haven't finished the game by any means. Instead I am taking my time and enjoying every little intricate detail of the game.
Such as spreading my super impreganatory man seed across the land amongst the fair women of Albion. Also, yes I am being sarcastic when I say fair. There be some ugly bitches in Albion, but they got some nice titties, I'll give them that. "Dammit where is the motor boat expression!?"

So apparently after only one night of passionate ugly bumping, my impressively potent sperm count does it's magic... oh sorry magic doesn't exist in Fable... "imposes it's will" on the helpless ovaries of my beautiful ladies. Boom Baby!!!

So I have taken to sheathing mine mighty sword so as not to go insane from the incessant nagging of the little ones. Another cute new feature of Fable 2 is being able to give nicknames to NPCs. This in and of itself gave me quite a bit of fun, but after naming my wives "cum dumpster, executive slut and ho bag", my creativity waned.

My lovely wife "cum dumpster"

My Character: Having played Fable 1 and really liking the role of ninja-like slow time dude that flips out and kills people, I went along the same path as far as will and looks as I did in the original. Maybe it's because I never got over how badass Shadow from Final Fantasy was. Given the opportunity I couldn't pass it down. (although I could never really get into being a rogue in WoW... hmm go figure). However, dying all my clothes black unlocked the "Goth" achievement, I almost / wrists in celebration.

The shadow knows

However, apparently this "bums out" a lot of the folk in a lot of the towns and for the most part I wouldn't have given a fuck, but I decided to make my first character a good one and I am at least trying to upkeep a good moral standing with the townsfolk, short of boning all their women. So I sprung some cash to get some nice threads, a pony tail and some wicked chops. However, this made me look like Russel Crowe from Master and Commander.

Oi Tugga! Thems looks like they wanna Foight!!!

Although, not in and of itself a bad thing, it wasn't really vibing with my whole ninja hero mystique.

Gameplay: So the new set-up for organizing will spells is pretty awesome I have to admit. The initial confusion I had with setting up the spells in the right spots, I will accredit to my own retardedness. Once you realize that you shouldn't be switching between different spells of the same level during combat, stuff gets a lot easier.

Anyway, If you want to be an awesome ninja badass shadow like myself, here is how to set it up.

Level 1 slow time is essential. The slow time spell has been merged with the assassin rush spell in the first fable, which is a great idea. To use the assassin rush effect of slow time just point your left thumbstick in the direction of the baddy you want to sneak up on and tap b.

Level 2 blades. Good surround spell that you can use to whittle off health of a few or target one person and use the assassin rush to get behind that sorry biotch and slash him in the back while he gets impaled by your spirit blades for a bad ass ninja combo.

level 3 chaos. I usually open with this spell to buy me a little time. Followed by a quick lvl 1 slow time, then blades and then I just start assassin rushing the bastards.

level 4 force push. I just got this, but I figured it would be good if I was just completely fucked. lvl 1 slow time and then charge up this bad boy and you can get yourself out of some sticky situations.

level 5 blades. I haven't actually gotten this yet, but I intended to use it as my big focus KaBoom spell in boss battles.

Stats: Speed>Toughness=Physique>Accuracy.
The ninja spec is all about speed and finesse. You will want to pick up the Roll ability from Dexterous styles to dodge out of the way of enemies and Flourish is nice to dell out some nice damage at the end of a brutal combo.

Weapons- melee weapon -Katana for the speed and + 15 to looking the part
ranged weapon -Pistol for the speed again. You aren't going to need to be sniping people from afar the key is to be in the mindset of "ninja flipping out".

Clothing- Bandit bandana- only the eyes are visible= very ninja.
Moonless Midnight dye- veil the world in shadows= very ninja.

Anyway, those are my opening thoughts for Fable 2. My next character is going to be an evil female sorcerer. Keep tuned!!!

Blizzcon 2008

Blizzcon baby!!!! Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Where sweaty shut-ins, pasty dorks and hot ladies in corsets and wings all gather for my amusement... I mean, all gather to be enticed by any little morsel of info blizzard will give them on any of their new games.

Well, I had taken some pictures and had them developed, but my scanner decided to screw up one time too many and now I have a broken heap of plastic where once there was an intact heap of plastic that pretended to be a printer / scanner.

However, the pictures weren't great, my digital camera eats battery like Jabba the hut eats bite-size snickers, so I opted for the disposable camera. It unfortunately isn't really good at taking pictures inside the cavernous seizure inducing light flickering hall that is the anaheim convention center. So let me just summarize what I took pictures of: Hot chicks in costume, weird people in costume and blizzard merchandise. Yeah... whatever, you suck too.

Anyway, there was definitely plenty to do at Blizzcon, 3 seperate stations for Diablo 3, WoW: WotLK and Starcraft 2. As I said earlier I didn't get to play Diablo, what with my procrostination and the enormous line. However, Lich King looks awesome and Starcraft 2 looks awesome. As part of my Blizzard swag bag, I got a code for the Starcraft 2 beta, so more on that in the future.

Speaking of Starcraft 2, Blizzard announced that although all 3 races will be accessible in multiplayer, each of the single player campaigns will be released in expansions. I think this is bullshit. I can understand an expansion if you are going to add a lot of features to the pre-existing format, ala Burning Crusade, Frozen Throne and what not, but making the fan base pay 3 times for the storyline is a clear money grab probably initiated by the soulless fucktards at Activision / Vivendi. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Kirby isn't pleased t(•.•t) he says executives at Activision can kindly find themselves a fire to stand in and thusly die from.

However, gameplay is pretty awesome, the zerglings seemed a little over powered and the marines a little under powered and I didn't get to see too much of the more higher end units, being that I only got to play in 20 minute intervals.

Okay, moving on, all throughout the con there were tournaments for WoW arena, Warcaft 3 and Starcraft. I only managed to catch a glimpse of the WoW arena and it was entirely too confusing to be exciting and the final match was merely to see who could play the Druid, Warlock and Warrior set-up better. I.E. I didn't give a fuck.

To round it all out at the end of each night, the crowd of around 6000 people were entertained on the mainstage by Master of Ceremonies Jay Mohr and Headlining comedian Patton Oswald. The first night had the exciting and often hilarious dance and costume contest. The costume contest was simultaneously awkward, impressive and hilarious. The dance contest 3rd place runner up who stripped down and did the ogre dance, proved that less is more. While the constume contest winner with the giant moving mechanical turtle that took her 3 months to build proved that more is more.

I have to say Jay Mohr did a great job as MC, he was hilarious all night and realized that unlike last year he couldn't just phone it in. He even managed to get us through the unbearable and hopefully last Joke contest. I got one. How many Blizzard fans does it take to tell a good joke? They can't.

Also a huge unexpected highlight was on the very last night: Video Games Live. A live orchestra of music hosted by Tommy Tallarico from many of the games from the Blizzard franchise, which included an amazing piano solo by the video game pianist, Martin Leung, the underground hit "Lament of the Highborne" sung by the beautiful, Vangie Gunn, the world famous Illian pipe player performing the introduction to the Wrath of the Lich King, Eric Rigler, and the awesome David Arkenstone band performing all of the tavern music in World of Warcraft. It was really a great high note to end Blizzcon on.

All in all it was a great experience. It really felt like the people at Blizzard throw Blizzcon every year as thanks to all their fans... oh and so they can pretend they are rock stars, even though their lyrics consist of horrible puns. So from this fan, thank you blizzcon!