Saturday, December 26, 2009

WoW: Look at this baddie

Ohhh Blizzard.  How you do things to us.  For every + there's always at least 3 -'s.  In patch 3.3, we were all introduced to the Random Dungeon and cross realm instancing system.  And it works pretty well.  Makes finding a group a hell of a lot easier.  Just click, then click, then BOOM! Instance.  Well... Depending on your class you may have to wait a bit(I'm tankin right now so INSTA-QUEUE FOR ME! EAT IT!  EAT IT LIKE A CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE!).  Anyway, with this nice new convenient feature there are some problems.  Namely, BADDIES.  By god, you get some real winners when you use this system.  They have some mystical pull-rabbit-out-of-urethra algorithm that matches people with "appropriate" gear levels to join certain instances.  Yeahhh....  They might want to make sure the player isn't riding the short bus.

Ok, I'll admit it.  I was a baddie once.  Back before I L2P, I had some pretty retarded choices for gears and stuff.  BUT!  I could make semi-logically reasoned statments for my gear choice(Other than IT DROPPED I WANTS!).  Then I learned, I studied, and I researched.  I went to forums and said, Hmmm what do I need to do when I want to do this?  Or, what kind of gear is appropriate for that?  Yes, there are differing opinions for everything, but at least they point you in a direction of "INTELLIGENCE."  I L2P'd GODDAMNUT. 

So, I've used the system a lot.  I got my perky pug and still run random instances just to get more badges.  Usually kek and pops run with me and we can basically get through most instances even if the other two dps are bads.  However, today we encountered a bad that was SOOO outrageous, I got a facepalm that my grandchildren will feel.  And it wasn't just because he was bad, it was because he was bad in such a way that made everyone want to nutpunch this SoB.  He was SOOO TERRIBLE, that he's getting a post and starting a new section of our blog overhaul.  LOOK AT THIS BADDIE.

It first started with him doing less then stellar DPS.  And I said, huh.  Somethin's not right.  Kek said "Holy fuckin shit.  Check this guy's gear out."  So inbetween pulls I checked his inventory.  First thing I saw:

Now.  That's not so bad.  I mean, it happens.  Hey it's the only epic he could find.  Intellect isn't so bad for a hunter.  I mean, it does give them some ap...  Larger mana pool?  Yeah that helps...  I guess...  There's some haste on there too.  Spellpower for arcane shot lawl?  Surely, there must be some logical reason for this piece...  Maybe i'm just being too much of a dick.  So then I continue to check... 

Ok ok... This isn't THAT bad...  I mean.. It has hit.  And haste...  Int isn't THAT bad for hunters... Larger mana pool again?  Cammannn.  Maybe he's just usin whatever he can get...  It's still a blue item vs a green item....

WTF...  Ok... MAYYYYYBE he didn't do any of the quests in Northrend.   MAYBE.  MAYYYYYBEEE he didn't see that the Death Knight's Anguish that you pickup in Borean Tundra far surpasses this... MAYYYYYBEEEE he didn't do any quests in northrend that give you a trinket...  MAYYYYYBEEEEE he's saving up for the badge one....  Surely he's not that retarded right?  Oh heyyy, look he's got his ItemLevel 245 shoulders.  He must be doing something right.
Ookk.... Ummm.... Uhhh...  Arcane shot lawl?

I... Armor?  Maybe for more survivabillity?  Alright alright.  I'm just making up excuses already.  

ALRIGHT.  DONE.  THIS GUY IS A BADDIE.  Fucking parry rating?!  REALLY?  I would really love to hear this guy's fucking explanation on why the fuck he chose some of this gear.  Fucking, it aint that hard!  Hey, we have this thing called GOOGLE.  And you TYPE SHIT INTO IT.  Like "HUNTER WORLD OF WARCRAFT HOW DOES."  OH THERE!  Jesus.  Check one of the 11 FUCKING MILLION PAGES.  YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO LEAVE THE FIRST PAGE.  Goddamnit... Baddie.


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