Monday, October 4, 2010


Remember remember, 
the 7th of December.  
That is the day, 
Holy's life goes away.  
And Wier...  
Possibly Loke too...  
But not Thordyn.
He's a big ol' douche.  
-By Holynub

Alright, poems aside, we have a release date for World of Warcraft's next Expansion, CATACLYSM.  See what I did there?  I put it in caps because it's like I'm yelling.  Yes my fellows and that single woman that actually uses the internet, you heard me correct.  World of Warcraft Cataclysm will be released on December 7th, 2010(Confirmed by Blizzard).  Coincidentally, that's also coincides with the anniversary of the Bombing of Perl Harbor.  

This should totally be photo-shopped into a Cataclysm poster
But what does it all mean?!  WHAT DOES IT MEAAAAANN!?!?(Double rainbow zomg)  It means that it's time to fire up that grinding playlist and be ready to sink at least half the week into playing World of Warcraft.  Pack your shit guys!  We gotta get to 85!  Lets go go go!  Gotta move gotta move!  Can't just sit there in Dalran all day, there's shit to be done! 

And shit has been done too.
With every big patch for World of Warcraft, the game is basically reset.  Many fundamentals of the game are altered in a mind blowing experience where the goods get frustrated and the bads get worse.  Lets throw out some of the "bigger" things that will be happening in Cataclysm

Talent Tree Changes
Paladin Talent Tree Sample
New level cap, new zones, also means new Talent trees.  The talent system is being overhauled to make it more... lets call it "Retard proof."  But if we've learned anything from Jurassic Park, retards will find a way.  When first picking talents, you are given a choice to pick ONE of your three talent trees.  Once you pick that ONE tree, you must put enough points into that tree before being able to pump points into either of the other two.  Which I don't really have much of a problem with.  I know bad people will.  Because they can't spec 20/20/21 anymore. 

 Bad screen, but you get the idea.
Also, when putting points into a talent tree, you gain passive bonuses and a new stat called Mastery.  Basically those bonuses are replacements for the talents that have been removed.  Mastery is a new stat that can also be found on gear.  Mastery's effect will differ between primary trees.  For example, Holy Paladin's Mastery allows for their heals to place an absorption shield on their target that will absorb 8% of the total heals worth of damage.  Pretty sweet huh?  This rewards players for putting more points into their primary tree rather than spreading it all over like butter on my nipples. 

 I beg to differ, good sir.
Many talents that used to be "Must haves." or need to be maxed out to be able to play your class, are gone.  Much of them are being integrated into the mechanics of the class.  Talents are trying to become more of a "Hey this is a fun new way to play" kind of system.  The idea is to give players more flexibility in what talents they choose.  Perhaps someone would really like to have a lot of raid utility, while someone else wants a 5min Hearthstone.  Hey, now they can!  And it supposedly won't affect their performance... 

Class Overhauls

I forgot to mention the new races.  But there are some....
Ding ding ding, class change time.  Start the musical chairs music.  Who's going to be the one left out this expansion?  But nawwww everyone's getting some love.  Some classes are getting small "oh hay" kind of upgrades.  While others are getting industrial revolution sized changes.  I'll just list a few classes, but check wowhead or MMO-Champion(sites listed at the bottom for you "n00bs") for the fully updated list.  It's pretty goddamn gigantic.  

Hunters:  No longer use Mana as a resource.  Instead they use "focus,"  like the resource their pet uses.  Kinda makes hunters like Ranged Rogues.

Warlocks:  Soulshards are now a limited resource that regenerates out of Combat.  Max of 3.  Does not need bag.  Special spells that consume a soul shard are meant to be almost game changing.  But you only have 3 per fight, so you need to make it count.

Paladins:  New Resource mechanic called "Holy Power."  Holy power is generated when using certain skills.  It has a max of 3 charges of Holy Power.  Kind of the opposite of a death knight.  Rather than spending runes to generate runic power, you spend mana to generate holy power.  There are a few spells and abilities that are affected by the number of Holy Power charges on you.

Guild Overhauls

Some sample items you can get from having a leveled guild.
Guilds are now "levelable."  How do you level your guild?  By doing shit!  Your guild too small to raid?  It's ok!  Just do quests, pvp, dungeons, gather, or PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.  Oh hay, you've leveled your guild.  Leveling your guild gives you access to perks and other cool shit.  This adds value to guilds and your time in it.  Guilds have 25 levels, each unlocking a different perk in the game.  From free Mass Raid Rez to your very own guild mount, there's all kinds of new cool crap.

Gear Overhauls

Why do I keep paying!?
Hoo man, that arp on Death Bringer's Will is sick isn't it?!  Ohhh guess what.  No more.  Yeah that's right.  There are many stats that are going the way of the dinosaurs, dodo, and my virginity.  Lets look at some.

Armor Penetration - too "mathy," didn't want to deal with it.  GONE FROM ITEMS(Some talents will have ARP)

MP5 - nobody cared. REPLACED WITH SPIRIT

Defense Rating - I don't know why, but apparently people didn't want tank gear to be so... tanky?  Uncritable talents are in place.  GONE

Spell Power - Because everyone was tired of looking at that stupid little green text at the bottom of items.REPLACED WITH INTELLECT


Block Value - With shield blocks reducing damage by a set 30%, block value is no longer needed. GONE

There's also a ton more that's being overhauled stat wise.  There's just soo much more.  Check out major WoW news outlets for more info.  Oh and because it's cool, the amount of stamina on all gear is being increased by A LOT.  From beta/ptr accounts, a tank in full ICC 25 gear(maybe some heroic 277) can sit at about 100k health(Not druid).  That's almost 40-50k increase.  ZOMG!

Dungeons & Raid Changes

Black Rock Mountains
Ahhh dungeons.  How they've changed.  Looks like Blizz is kicking it back to the old school way of dungeon running.  Enjoy the AOE fest while it lasts.  New dungeons are not so easily passed.  All you mages, get your goddamn sheep spell out of your spell book.  It's time to do that again.  You rogues, put sap back on your bars.  We talkin about CC yo.  It's back!  And it's not an option.  A few friends were messing around trying to AOE their way through a dungeon.  After blowing every CD possible on a single pull, it was deemed inefficient.  Things just hit too hard, have too much health, and do too much stupid crap to let them run free.  I foresee an increase in auto-mark mods.

Don't call it a comeback.
Raid lockouts will be per boss-kill and will no longer be split between 10 and 25 man.  Meaning you can only run one raid ONCE that week.  The quality of loot is no longer split as well.  25 drops the same loot as 10 man, just in larger quantity.  So the theory goes, you can gear up faster running 25 mans.  But if you needed, you can just run a 10 man to get progression.  Also, you are not saved to a specific instance.  You're saved to a specific set of bosses killed.  Meaning, if you go in and kill the first 3 bosses.  Then want to join a raid that has the first 5 killed, you can join.  You'd loose your chance on the other two they killed, but that's up to you.  This is to allow more flexibility for raiders.  What's that?  You had to AFK for the other two nights of raiding? You've only got the first wing down?  No worries!  Just join someone else that's either at the same point as you, or further along.  Yayyy.

World Changes

The Barrens got messed up a bit.
Alright, so basically the World of Warcraft is going to get fucked up.  Well, Azeroth is.  Many of the older zones will be overhauled and phased.  This should give a fresh look to some of the outdated areas of Azeroth.  The gnomes have finally taken back Gnomeregan.  Only took them 6 fucking years.  Hey man, I solo gnomer yo.  I could've gotten it back for dem.  Stupid gnomes.  Trolls are trollin the Echo Islands again.  Sorry gaiz, didn't play Horde.  Soooo they can do... whatever it is... they do...  ./thumbs up. 

Swoop down for some booty
Flying mounts will be allowed EVERYWHERE!  HURRAY!  And the world rejoiced.  But they're getting rid of portals in Dalaran and Shattrah. BOO!  And we were disappointed.  But they're putting trainers and AH's in their place!  Umm... Yay?  If you really step back a bit, why did you need those portals?  To respec at a trainer... Which is now there.  Or go to the AH to buy something...  Which is now there.  Which means it's a pretty good deal YAYYYYYY!!!!! 


I Noe Haz
Ok, this was just the tip of the goddamn iceberg for Cataclysm.  It's like every major patch they've released so far.  You might as well forget all the crap you know now, and just read up and be ready for what is basically a new game.  Mechanics have changed.  Spells have changed.  Classes Changed.  Gear changed.  Transportation changed.  Currency value has changed.  Aside from the names and location of places, this is a new game.  You know all those MMORPG's that want to copy wow?  They can't.  Because WoW has evolved itself so goddamn much that it's not even the same game as it's launch title.  Haters gonna hate, and they'll still say it's a shitty game that hasn't changed at all.  That's fine.  They can go play... Something else.  I'm gonna sit back and enjoy this ride.  You guys ready for this?  Lets do this, LEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYY JJJJJEEEEENNNNNNNKKKKKIIIINNNNSSS!

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